Drawing The Line

	



  


    

  
  

    
To Stop Agressor or Tolerate?
How To Stand Your Ground?


  
  

    


 

There are times when you have to draw a line.

Enough is enough or give up your position as a human being and become a slave. 

Mental slavery is prevailing and going on in many families and relationships.

Unless it is a true forced and violent slavery, everything else is nothing but voluntarily.

Did anyone force you into your relationship? No, it was your choice. Ok, you are finding out the person is not who she or he pretended to be. 

Then, wake up to the reality of life and deal with it.

It‘s hard, I know but so is life. Deal with life’s tribulations; don’t run away from them. You can not run from yourself. Your troubles are a part of you, so put two and two together.

There was something in you that made you choose that person.
You have made your choice - you. Many factors led to them.

Yet, as long, as you sincerely mean well and try, life would help you. But stand your ground, gain bravery and confidence.
I can’t do that for you, you have to make your efforts.

I can wish you the best and share my knowledge and common sense.  I always value common sense over anything else, so do the same. That’s my best advice to you.

Let’ go through the steps. Never do anything blindly. Realize and understand what you are about to do and always. When not sure, wait until gain the understanding and confidence. Not knowledge but understanding. 
Knowledge is what you hear or see but is not a part of you. Understanding is in your core. You can explain it with all your heart. 
Understanding is deeper and real.
 Knowledge is superficial and temporary. Do you see the difference?

Make sure you do.

So the steps…



1) Talk to the person openly and patiently.

Speak your mind in the fashion of getting the message across that the behavior is wrong and unfair – as opposed to unloading your frustrations and anger.


2) If that doesn’t work, make an attempt to make the person aware how he/she would feel if the same thing were done onto him/her.
Another word, reverse the tables verbally.

If, that, still, doesn’t work, you are for a ride of your life.

The person just doesn’t care to understand.

There is one way to find out if he/she is incapable of comprehending his/her actions or practices the attitude “I can do whatever I want but you can’t do that to me.”


3) So, simply, reflect the behavior of the person back onto him/her.

Yes, literally, do what was done onto you as long as you don’t go too far. If a person has done something evil, you don’t repeat that of course. You pick a reasonable case that your consciousness can deal with, particularly that you, only, use that as a lesson to the person.

Once the “offended” person starts defending his/her rights and getting outraged over the fact you dared doing that to him/her, you know the answer. The person knows and very well what is right and wrong and can easily see the difference.

Aha, so we have the case of not a retard but of a clearly thinking person. 

Once again, it means what it means. The person knows the wrong but cares of it only when it affects his/her welfare and doesn’t give a damn about yours. As simple as that. Sad but true.

Retards are probably one percent of all cases. I don’t think you would have dated a retard to start with unless such person yourself.
 But then, again, you would not be able to get to this site and follow its logic if that were the case. So all people here are normal – just some selfishness is involved (some or a lot, depending on a case.) 


Since the person can comprehend so draw the line or the person would do more and worse in the future – just observe the pattern and direction.

If you are willing to put up with that abuse, by all means, endure that, hoping that a person would learn from your patience.
There are, certainly, cases when, in time, a person, “wakes up”
on his/her own and feels so guilty that starts changing for the better and drastically. Things happen.

These cases are rare but real. They happen when you become such virtuous person that your light literally shines upon them.

They don’t know what “hit” them. They just feel your love and patience and the latter transforms them.

That’s the best way for even though the hardest: to put up with everything the aggressor gives you, not to blink and tolerate.
I call such people super-humans. That is real strength and courage.

Here, I concentrate over an average situation.

A typical you: a reasonable person with many faults but also many positive concepts, knowing right from wrong and respecting that. A typical aggressor: a selfish, one way street – I can do that, but you can’t do the same to me – as I have mentioned above.
 But, such aggressor is not evil, just ignorant and selfish in his/her motives. Not easy but can wake him/her up if find the key to the person.

In terms of cases of outright evilness, I believe, unless you have super-powers, just get out. By the time you try to enlighten such folks, they may “kill” you with their set ups and conveniences. 



Going back to an average case.

My belief based on what I have observed is that such person only becomes worse and more obnoxious as any aggressor who meets no real resilience. Words just don’t ring his/her bell.

Drawing a line means – a fair warning to the aggressor and explanation of what is wrong with his/her behavior, then
a promise to stop interacting with the aggressor and doing things for him/her, unless health is threatened, until he/she repents over the situation. Be prepared to fulfil your promise or the person would act even worse.








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Continuing....













Keep in mind that, you must be able to resist a sexual seduction a person may throw at you in attempt to control you.
Never trade principles for sex or show your weakness for it.

Be prepared to go without the joy of sex; you would gain much more otherwise. 
No sex until repentance, unless just know that sex would help the other person to repent. 
As strange as it may sound, there are cases like that, when a person in your arms is overwhelmed by your love and affection feeling an overpowering bond to you. 
There times when sex can cause that, but sex based on love not lust. 
Know the difference. Lust – means taking from a person, drawing away from him/her. Love – means giving from yourself to him/her without any expectations of anything back. You share without conditions. The arrow is from you to the person - not the other way around.

So, in ordinary cases, no sex until repentance. In extraordinary, just don’t fool yourself if that’s not your case, know when is the moment, do give with all your LOVE – not lust.

So draw a line, no interaction with the aggressor, just ignore him/her is keeping a distance. If, still, living under the same roof,
have to see each other, just be polite, continue doing what is right and proper, but, otherwise, ignore anything else.

Make sure you abstain from hateful gazes.
 Look calmly and straight into the eyes, don’t stare, just be open and direct and always fair.

Always ask yourself what God would have done in your place and follow that.  if don’t believe in God, ask what would be fair and right in this case and repeat that fair and right.

If don’t believe fair and right exist, then, I can’t help you.

Good luck to you on your own ideas until would feel in your heart that fair and right as well as wrong and immoral exist regardless of laws and societies. They are always in everyone’s heart.

We are born wit the ability to discern right from wrong no teachers are needed.
  All can come to the same concepts by searching.

You don’t need me to bring anything new to you. 
I only validate what you feel in your heart. That is how I make or don’t make sense to you. 

You compare the incoming information against that data that is already inside of you. If you had nothing to compare that against, how else would you know whether it makes sense or not?

You would be guessing forever. But you know, you compare and say to yourself, “O, yes, now I see, that makes sense." It was inside of me too but just wasn’t clear but now it is like layers are lifted off and I can se clearly.”

I go through the same.

As a matter of fact, we can all receive the knowledge and true understanding.

To elaborate on that, I must introduce the concept of spirit.

Spirit is always receiving information directly and purely.

It projects the data on the lower levels of us until that sets in our mind. The key is how pure and unpolluted our mind is.

Otherwise distortions and loss of data takes place as in music sent over the Internet in a bad connection. 
You get bits and pieces not a smooth, original flow. Our mind functions the same way in that regard. The more we purify ourselves, the more we know and able to receive and even become better. Literally.

Clean your mirrors to see a clear reflection.

Do you receive my message?

Any other explanation without the spirit would be false, but the best example for the atheists and I respect their choice is that example of light against a clean or polluted mirror.

So all should get the point.

In the future, I would go into body, soul, spirit and how common sense points in the direction of that triangle.

It is a lengthy subject, but in the spirit of this site of introducing vast concepts in a condensed, common sense format, I would attempt to do so. 

I write in the spontaneity of the moment, getting in an inspired state, where the information flows out of me faster than I can type.
I can’t even take credit for the incoming flow – it is a gift and I honor and recognize it.

The credit is not mine. I have a genuine desire and will to bring common sense to people to help them see it more clearly if they need some push or assistance. In the process, I help myself, I read what my fingers type so fast and often go, “wow, that makes sense,” as if someone else wrote that for me.

I wish I started writing earlier but maybe time is right now – not for me to judge.
 Just be sure I mean well and wish you well to all of you. 
No race, religion or its absence, age, your orientation matters to me. I have only one merit those who reach to the light or darkness. The rest are details. 
Yet, even to those who go in the dark direction, I wish to wake up and realize that no one can cheat life or him/herself and everything a person does would cause effects accordingly and would affect the originator accordingly.

All would get what deserve – nothing less – nothing more!

One day, all would find out. There is no void in the Universe.

The law of conservation is Absolute: nothing comes from nothing and vanishes into nothing! energy is transformed and neither created nor destroyed.

One day……..

Wish all people well, send mental thoughts of your good will and to come to the light and virtuous. 
Just say that aloud now and you would set in motion powerful positive mental and Electro-magnetic waves that would start propagating space and reach other people.
 Send the waves of good will and they would come back to you as well!

Your heart would tell you that it is true!









  
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